Kinger’s Tour 18

SMBCC on Tour in Torquay

9 Bold tourists took to the golf course for a change in scenery at Dawlish Warren, after a slight mishap with a Sprinter Van and an 8-foot Railway bridge, 2 pints by the sea front and lots of Wasp swatting. An alien game to some and although enjoyable 5 hours without a drink on tour is quite a long time. Lots of lost balls and miscued shots later we made it to the club house for a beer, only to duck as Woody cracked one on top of the decking roof! The Winners Ed & Benjani bandits the pair of them.

Rocko & Martan had terrible blisters which only got worse as on arrival at the Hotel in Torquay a 45 minute walk awaited down to the Harbour. With everyone desperate for a drink Chalky got the first order in 18 mojitos please barmaid! The party was started…. But what goes on tour stays on tour unless I disclose it here.

The morning dawned, and several where woken up for breakfast in varying states of disrepair. A drive beckoned to the far edge of Dartmoor, 1 hr and 45 mins later several raced to use the facilities, the previous night’s curry working its magic. A village pub and an outspoken landlord, 2 pints in and the rest of the playing 11 joined us. Skipper for the day Woody asked the hosts to bat. A beautiful village ground with stunning vistas of Devonshire valleys all around.

Ed soon made the breakthrough with 2 quick wickets, Woody did well to rotate his bowlers, everyone getting a bowl against opposition batsmen of varying standards. All totally bamboozled by Fishy’s astronomical moon ball bowling. Chulmleigh & Mid Devon all out for 133, young Nat Wood taking 3 wickets, although his Dad and the Keeper Hyland dropped one a piece so he should have had 5. Convinced we had toured here earlier in the noughties Derek decided to do some umpiring for SMB’s innings, hopeful of a few juicy decisions to give. Martin Hunt fell for a blob, Kinger went cheaply and so did Angry. Chalky smacked some indifferent bowling for a quick fire 40, but it was left o Martan to get us to the pub quickly with a brutal 38*.

Back into Torquay and having learnt from our mistakes, taxis were ordered. The golf ball was in play, and as Fishy was the first hit with a full glass of Vodka Redbull it started a night of carnage. The remnants of which were clear on Angry’s face as he made it down to breakfast the next morning. With most the team a little worse for wear, a morning was spent dossing around the harbour before heading just up the road to Barton CC. The feeling immediately would be that they would be a little more challenging opponent than the day be fore’s.

Woody pulled a fast one as bolstered by day trippers Bolly and Swifty he sat out, forgetting that he would have to score for the entire innings. Captain Kinger negotiated a 30 over contest and asked the youthful opposition to bat. The opening exchanges confirmed that these boys were not messing around some crisp drives and powerful pulls greeted the Bourne bowling. Nat Wood bowled excellently again getting the opener to Knick off to a flying Kinger in the gully. Swifty bowling some fizzing off breaks bowled an immaculate line and was easily the pick of the Bourne attack with (2-7). The home side reaching 168-4 after their 30 overs.

With the clubhouse/pavilion resembling a cattle shed, tea didn’t hold many expectations but we were all pleasantly surprised as it was easily one the best of the season. Pizza and cake galore. The reply got off to a rapid start, Swifty middling the ball to all parts. Fishy was given out caught off his pad, a shock after putting in a whole innings worth of compliments to the umpire. Martin Hunt (41) joined Swifty (40) at the crease and accelerated the run rate, bringing up the SMB 100 before Swifty fell trying to hit another huge six into the pavilion wall. It was a big hit, and one very surprising from such weak arms! Martan promised to keep it going but with over a run a ball needed the SMB batting couldn’t keep up with the rate, wickets falling regularly against some pretty decent bowling. Ultimately finishing short 155-9.

A  good game against a good side wasn’t a bad way to end a cracking weekend. Lots of laughs and a big shout out to Kinger for organising! A night of Golf Ball drinking that won’t be forgot in a hurry.

#smbcc #ladsontour #kingerstour #cricket #hantscl #getthegameon


SMBCC vs Whitchurch – 25.08.18

Last Game Of The Season!

Apologies for the lack of match reports over the past few weeks, time is always of the essence. But a good game to end the league Season on for SMB.

Taking over as skipper for the day Alex Aldridge promptly lost the toss and was asked to bat by local rivals Whitchurch. A brief flurry of boundary’s and Swifty was out caught in a currently recurring manner spooning up a catch off his gloves. The Whitchurch openers finding plenty of bounce off a length, the pitch left uncovered the night before and the heavy downpour adding plenty of zip to the surface.

Fishy (11) was bowled by a beauty of an in swinger and pinch hitter Ed Allinson (15) moved up the order to no 3 soon came and went. The SMB batting line-up has been brittle at best this season but two of the biggest mainstays skipper for the day Aldridge and veteran Rob King came together in the 13th over and after seeing off some decent bowling started to get the scoreboard ticking. Both batsmen pouncing on any short-pitched bowling and despatching to the fence. Alex out with 1 ball left in the innings for a magnificently played 101. Rob playing his part nicely for 40*, SMB 199-4 after 40 overs.

The Whitchurch reply started disastrously with inform batsman Dancer bowled first ball by a peach of an In swinger from Martin Clay (2-12), Alex Melkonian (1-28) found the right length at the other end to bowl the South African opener and Whitchurch seemed in trouble at 12-2. Some solid sensible batting saw the scoreboard start to tick over regularly, when out of nowhere Kinger (1-43) forced the no.4 bat to drive straight to Jamie Coombs at extra cover with 97 on the board. Anybody’s game with 15 overs remaining. Martan came back into the attack and after bowling a shite longhop that got smacked towards the Extra cover boundary, Skipper Aldridge dislocated his shoulder diving full stretch on the boundary. Only 4 overs into his spell and with 7 wickets still to take, he left the field, SMB down to 10.

SMB needed a break through and with regular Janitor Steve Wood (3-34) twirling from the Bell End, Andy Stevens pulled off the catch of the season to dismiss the well-set no.3 leaping one handed to pluck a catch on the long on boundary. The introduction of Jamie Coombs (2-13) to the attack finished it off as Whitchurch lost wickets at regular intervals succumbing to the Bourne attack still 46 runs short of the target.

A huge win for SMB against local rivals, and a brilliant way to end the season in Regional Division North West 1. Finishing 7th out of 18, a pretty decent return considering promotion the season before.

#smbcc #whitchurch #hantscricketleague #getthegameon #redarrows #centurion

SMBCC 2018 (L to R) Back Row: Ange Moon (Scorer), Ed Allinson, Steve Wood, Alex Melkonian, Jamie Coombs, Martin Clay, Alex Aldridge. Front Row: Andy Stevens, Jame Swift, Paul Bulpitt, Phil Fish, Rob King

Mr Angry’s Stats of the Week 21.07.18



Rocco goes joint top of the pile! Stats from the 21st July vs Wellow & Plaitford

Chris Randall – 200 league wickets, equalling the club record

Best bowling & first “five for” for the club – Alex Aldridge – 5-18

Club record 10th wicket stand – 34, Fishy & Jalfrezi

Highest league score – Jalfrezi – 7

Highest 9th wicket stand of the season – 4, Rocco & Fishy

First league wicket for 2 years for Swifty


#getthegameon #stmarybourne #hantscl #wellowandplaitford

SMBCC vs Wellow & Plaitford – 21.07.18

Close but not close enough!

An all-round poor display in the field, with the ball and with the bat saw SMB succumb to visitors Wellow & Plaitford in a low scoring clash at the recreation ground this Saturday. Several mis fields and the opening bowlers unusually off the mark saw Wellow reach 43-0 before the introduction of Alex Aldridge (5-18) bowling with some turn and drift from the Bell End ran through the opposition. Well supported by the returning Chris Randall, and James Swift picking up his first league wicket for 2 years. Wellow & Plaitford all out for 97. 

SMB started disastrously with skipper Paul Bulpitt spooning the first ball of the innings to point, a very wide ball outside almost off the track. James Swift and Mark Hyland quickly followed, SMB in trouble at 24-3. Aldridge and Melkonian came and went, SMB now teetering dangerously at 26-5. Clay gave Andy Stevens a momentary rest bite from the carnage, but ultimately came up short, the remaining wickets falling before the openers who were still gaining some prestigious swing had finished their spells. At 55-9 it looked all over. With Phil Fish and Geoff Thacker at the crease. Managing to see out the Opening bowlers 6 wicket spell and looking to accumulate some runs against the change bowlers. The scoreboard continued to rotate as Phil (16*) and Geoff (7) dragged SMB closer and closer to the target. A few cracks started to show in the Wellow line up as runs leaked around the ground.

Alas it was not to be, Jalfrezi was bowled around his legs by their leg spinner, SMB all out for 89 – 9 runs short of victory. A great effort by numbers 10 and 11 putting on 34 for the last wicket!

Alex Aldridge got the 50p for the second week running for his 5ver, the vegetable got left in the pavilion so wasn’t awarded, but we think Bollywood got it for his shocking ‘man bag/satchel/handbag’

#getthegameon #hantstopgun #hantscl #cricket #smbcc

SMBCC vs Southampton Community II – 14.07.18

It’s didn’t come home, But 8 and 3 for SMBC

🏏With the laughs and the numerous jugs of last weeks romp at the rec firmly in the rearview mirror, SMBCC headed to ‘beautiful’ Eastleigh for the match up with Southampton Community Cricket Club. Well, 10 of us did, god only knows where Ed Allinson went (dodgy sat nav, thought it was a 2pm start) but skipper Paul Bulpitt won the toss and put us in to bat so we didn’t much care where he was in truth. The pitch looked like it had been placed under a hot grill for 20 mins and the lack of shade only added to an uncomfortable start…
A rare opening duo of James Swift and Mike Glycophantis had uncharacteristically short bursts out on the track, both caught out playing shots they’d rather forget as did no.3 Jack White – victim of what was in fact a very decent bowling side, accurate and not without pace. At 3 for 3, which were in reality all extras, the ship needed steadying and who better to steer than Rob King and Alex Aldridge who found themselves together and gradually starting to look comfortable as the overs progressed. Alex played beautifully into the gaps without ever straining or thrashing and even though the change bowlers were no slouches, the scoreboard crept up. Rob King scored a masterful 53 without ever looking in trouble until his appetite for runs and his ability to actually run them were out of sync and he was run out after some tidy fieldwork from the oppo. We’d made 130 now for the loss of 4 and felt like we were definitely building something to bowl at.
A further 50 partnership between Jamie Coombs and Alex Aldridge (who was still batting beautifully) didn’t look on the cards with Coombs looking a little nervy when Soton’s pace man worked out just how much he hated the ball on his legs. However he hung around and indeed they piled on another 50. By the time Ed Allison got out of his Jim Jams for a ‘4 and back’ and Mark Hyland had a quick look at the track, SMBCC were 188 after their 40 overs, with Alex Aldridge top scoring on 78.
With Ed now awake and in the right postcode, it was time to test out the batting mettle of the opposition. He found his pace quickly and though the batsman looked to handle it ok, the opening pair of Allison and Coombs smelled blood. A wayward first delivery from Coombs perhaps lulled their opener into a false sense of security and a simple cutter toppled his off stump next ball, SMBCC were off to the races. Next man in and same result – gate open, stumps over – Coombs taking 2 wickets for the 5th successive week in the league. Alex Aldridge and Ed continued with unerring accuracy, both getting good batsman to play bad shots as numbers 3, 4 and 5 also dropped fairly early in the innings.
At 59 for 5 it was time to see how deep the opposition batted and fired up from not getting what he wanted with the bat Jack White strode into bowl his brand of ‘Mystery Seam’. It confounded them alright with two bats holing out to Coombs at point followed by a terrific catch from Ed Allison in the deep looking right up into the sun. really top drawer cricket. Jack found himself with a 3 wicket haul very quickly and with one man down due to injury, Soton had capitulated for just 64 after 20 overs of cricket. All back to the George!
The 50p🎖️could only go to Alex A for his superb 78 and the veg…..only one winner – Ed! 🍆

Mr Angry’s Stats of the Week 14.07.18



Lots of partnership stats from the 14th July vs Southampton Community II’s!

15 league 50’s for Kinger – club record

Highest individual score of the season – Alex Aldridge 78 not out

Highest 4th wicket stand of the season – 120, Kinger & Alex A

Highest 5th wicket stand of the season – 50, Alex A & Jamie C

First time the first 3 batsman all dismissed for a duck – Swifty, Mike & Chalky 🦆🦆🦆

#getthegameon #stmarybourne #hantscl #southamptoncommunityii

Mr Angry’s Stats of the Week – 07.07.18



Some mahoosive stats this week!

Andover III – 19 all out – lowest total against ever
Martin Clay – 7-2 – personal best & best club bowling figures since 2005
Martin Clay – 2 hat-tricks in one innings – unprecedented!
Shortest match ever – 49 mins, 9.5 overs

In the pub 18 jugs of lager – that’s 54 pints between
Martin, Kinger, Woody, PB & Angry with a bit of help from Ange, Julie (Mrs Skip), Chalky & Fishy/Little Fishy

#itscominghome #cricket #stats #getthegameon #stmarybourne #hantscl

SMBCC vs Andover III – 07.07.18

It’s Coming Home, It’s Coming

Fresh from the wounds of two weeks of massive hidings at the hands of Laverstock & Ford and Penton, the SMB league XI was nearly back to full strength this weekend. With everyone keen to watch the football, the start time was brought forward an hour to midday. And as the noon sun unmercifully beat down on the Recreation ground. Skipper Paul Bulpitt won the toss and made no hesitation in inserting the 9-strong opposition from Andover.

A repeat of the previous weeks onslaught from Penton looked on the cards as opening bowler JC9 Jamie Coombs first over wielded 15 runs. That however proved to be the batting highlight of the game as Martin Clay finding some decent rhythm had the opening bat caught by Swifty behind the wickets. 2 Massive unsuccessful LBW shouts followed to complete a wicket maiden. Joining the party from the Bell End, JC made another inroad, the other opener looking a right prat, leaving a ball that swung away to castle his off stump.

Still fired up from the not given LBW decisions Martan finally got his man! Beating a lame defensive prod as the ball crashed into middle stump. Number 4 came and went the next ball, faced with a the hattrick ball the next bat to the middle was a leftie. Bowling the best line of his spell and with a little extra pace this season, Martan nipped the ball back through the gate taking an inside edge on to the stumps! A first league Hattrick for MC and a first for the club since Woody back in the olden days!

It took Martan another 4 balls to find the stumps again, this time clearing up the rest of the Andover line-up unbelievably taking his second Hattrick of the innings! Ending with bizarre figures of 4.1 Over, 2 Maidens, 7 Wickets for 2 Runs. His first league 5 wicket haul! The two runs conceded both come as edges through the slip cordon! Backed up by some lovely outswing bowling a the other end from JC 1-17.

A slightly surreal feeling for the Bourne boys as they jubilant headed to the changing rooms having dismissed the opposition for just 19 in only 8.1 overs! Swifty 8* and Chalky 12* wasted no time in knocking off the 20 runs to win in 1.4 overs as the two teams shook hands after just 49 minutes of play. So much for being worried about missing the football, we had over 2 hours to kill before kick-off, a quite bizarre game of cricket!

Jack White got the vegetable 🍆 for some very dodgy face patriotic face painting (photo below) that went horribly wrong when his forehead started sweat, Martan the only candidate for the 50p 🏆 for his 2 Hattricks and 7 wickets in total! Even better England won 2-0, we sat outside the pub and drunk 21 jugs of Lager, which we think works out at more pints drunk than minutes of cricket played!

#itscominghome 🏆

#getthegameon #hantscl #engvsswe #hampshireleague #andover #cricket#21jugs

#2hattricks #49mins #alloutfor19

Mr Angry’s Stats of the Week – 30.06.18


If the side was weak the week before, this week it was the weakest it has been for many weeks! Some big and small numbers here!
Biggest Defeat Ever – 250 Runs
Lowest Batting Total Ever – 36 All Out
2nd Highest Total Conceded – 286-9 vs Penton
1st League Wicket on Debut – Ruaraidh Pope
Golden Duck on Debut – Ruaraidh Pope
1st League Maiden – Andy Stevens
Best League Bowling – Andy Stevens 2-19
1st Home Defeat – Since August 2016
1st Player to have a Name including all 5 Vowels – Ruaraidh Pope
#penton #cricket #stats #getthegameon #stmarybourne #hantscl